The Hurt Soul
by NaruSasuNaruLover
Summary: AU. ONESHOT. Rated for sensitive subjects and language. After a childhood of pain, Sasuke had to find it inside himself to love.


**The Hurt Soul**

**Author's note: Okay, so I got a very touching review for my story To Warm The Coldest Hearts and it really inspired me to write this, so thank you to the anonymous reviewer whom inspired this, I'm sure if you read this you'll know whom you are, and if you don't like the story that got inspired by your review then please let me know, I'll understand and take it down.**

**As always I own nothing.**

**Revison:**

**Song of Inspiration: I'm Not Jesus by Apocalyptica ft. Corey Taylor**

**Seriously, listen to the song…I took the lyrics out because of the rules on the website, but I think it makes a big difference when reading it**

**I also fixed the mistakes that I found…however if you see any let me know, I think I got all the "angle" that were supposed to be "angel"**

_Italics Sasuke commentary/narration_

Regular is third person point of view

_Do you know what it's like to feel like your constantly falling? I felt it every day. I couldn't trust. I couldn't look anyone in the eyes. I tried to be strong but I couldn't, the nightmare continued and I couldn't find anyone to save me from falling. I was alone._

_It started with a look, I thought all dads looked at their sons that way, I didn't know what it would lead to. A look became a touch just gentle the harshness would come later._

_At the age of seven, I was hit for the first time. It started out not being frequent and only one hit. When I was eight, I took my first real beating. It hurt and what was left of me started to vanish faster. At the age of nine was when he first molested me, after that I was broken, and it took a lot to fix me._

_When the touch became something more my mother ignored it. She knew what happened, but she chose to ignore it. My brother tried, he couldn't stand seeing me go through it, but my father was too strong and soon enough my brother had to go off to college, and there was no one to even try to protect me._

_I know the trauma of the broken soul. I've gone through the emotions. I've felt the anger coursing through my body, taking over ever inch of my being, but I'm not the Hulk, I couldn't defeat him no matter how hard I tried. I had tried to resist him, but I couldn't get away, I've had times where I've just let him have his way, where I've given up, I just wanted him to leave and the sooner I cooperated the sooner that I'd get away. That's when the helplessness kicks in. I felt like a weak child when he even looked at me, he turned me into the bundle of nerves that no one should have to endure, and they are nerves of fear. The fear settles in. It was overwhelming to know that my mother was in denial and I had no one to run to, that I was alone in the up hill battle. I drowned in the emotional damage. Physical damage heals over time, but I would never forget the things he'd done, the things he'd said._

_There's only been one person to have the potential to cure me, to show me how to love, but I've tried him away too. I have to say that I'm very good at pushing people away. I can close anyone out, but for some reason I found a certain blonde haired, blue-eyed boy to be my savior._

_They say talk is good for the soul, that it let's you heal, but I had never been one for words, I felt that words just let people see the crazy that lies within. Talk can be small, but the hidden scars on my arms spoke the volumes of a million little words, my pain was my release. The feeling of bringing the razor to my wrist, knowing just a little further I could cut that blue vein and bleed to death, just a little further down and I could die, the rush of blood out of my wrist and down my arms, it was all enough for me, I didn't need petty words._

_Few knew what truly happened, people close, yet not close enough, told me that I should see a shrink. I refused to see a shrink. I refused to tell my story. I refused to go to that jail that they call therapy. Even if I had to die alone, I knew that I could always trust myself._

_We weren't together, but that blonde seemed to always be there, watching to make sure that man isn't by me, and that when that man was he was sure to be there, protecting me. I never asked him to protect me, but he was the only one that really knew my story. I didn't want to tell him at the time, I tried to push him out, but he was so persistent and he guessed before I told him. He saw how my father acted; he could see through anyone's mask, especially mine._

_My blonde angel, that's what he should always have been called. He saved me. He did whatever I needed to feel safe and never pressured me. He loved me even when I didn't think I could love him back._

_We were just eighteen, I was just starting with my band, and he helped me write the first single, the one that made us famous. He didn't write it, but he gave me the courage to. We won awards for the song, but I never thanked him, and he never expected me to._

A raven-haired man stood on the stage, the song started and he sang, memorizing his audience with his voice. There was really only one person that mattered to him in the audience. The man was blonde blue eyed, smiling, and not expecting a shout out. He never expected anything. He knew the pale singer was fragile. He knew not to push anything. The blonde just smiled at him. He knew not to push anything.

Sasuke looked away from the blonde as he looked toward the audience. They were all singing along, having a good time. It made the raven mad. It was their first real tour as a band that was well known, and one would think he could have more fun, but he couldn't.

_I remember thinking as I looked into the crowd, 'Wow these people don't even really get what the song is about do they? Or is it more that they just don't care? Do they not realize how real this is?' I should have known that most of the ones having their good time didn't really know, they didn't realize it was hard for me to sing, hard for me to put out there, to them it was just an other song with a message. They didn't know how much it truly hit home. But he did, the blonde I cared about did, and he knew not to sing a long, and he knew not to be happy with the song, he knew what I wanted. Why I didn't see all of it before, I'll never know. I might have saved myself a lot of pain if I would have._

The blonde could see the hurt in the raven's eyes. He just wanted to fix him. He wanted to help him. But he felt that he couldn't until the raven let him. He knew not to ask for more, though he always wanted more. He would just be the friend, the guy in the background that the raven needed in order to help through the day. He wouldn't say that the raven was dependent on him, but they help each other. The blonde needed to help the raven, and the raven needed the blonde to help him.

_He was so patient, which when I first met him was something that I wouldn't have expected. When I finished writing the song, he was the first person I played it for. He just smiled at me and said, "It's what you need to do. You need to get it out." He sat across from me with a smile on his face, it was genuine, and a hand on my knee, comforting me, he did everything I needed him to, but never pushed anything on me._

_My father was well respected. No one else dared to cross him; I could hardly after he'd broken me down so deeply. People respected his beliefs and thought he was real, but I saw the real side of him, my brother did too, but it was a side my mother chose to ignore. He was abusive and a child molester, but it took years for the courage to say that to anyone but the blonde._

_Naruto found the lines "Do you remember me? And the kid I used to be?" to be the hardest. He didn't know me when I was seven. He didn't know me before I was broken. Before everything happened I was a happy kid. My brother was there and my father was my hero and I thought that he was great. I don't think my brother ever bought his mask though, and that's probably why my father told me not to listen to what Itachi said._

The raven continued to sing as the passion built inside of him. He was like an untouchable figure on the stage, his passion almost made him fragile and yet a little bit of perfection in the eyes of many. To himself though, he was just a broken soul.

_I never got back to the truly happy little kid I once was. Nothing could replace the anger and hurt that plagued my thoughts. The blonde tried though. He made it hard for me to be angry. I'm not really certain when things changed for us; all I know is that somewhere in that year he had changed me. He didn't force me to change, just being around him made me feel something unlike anything that I had ever felt in my life._

The end of the song came soon, as did the end of their performance. It was the only song that kept the raven thinking through the night. He sang others, but none meant as much to him as the one song for his father. That was all he gave him: one song. That one song though, spoke volumes.

_I could not forgive my father. I still can't. It's because of him that I know the pain and suffering. It's because of him that I've had times where I didn't even want to live. It's because of him that I lived my life in fear._

_My name is Uchiha Sasuke. My angel is Uzumaki Naruto. It took me years to love him even a fraction of what he deserves. It took me years to truly feel comfortable in his arms. It took me years to have sex with him, and even longer for me to make love to him. It took years for me to realize that had been saving my life._

**THE END.**

**So this story is just a one shot, as I said I got inspired by a review. This reviewer chose to share with me a part of their life and tell me how my story helped them and it was anonymous so I don't know who sent it, but I would like to say thank you to them. I would never have written this with out them and it came at a time when I started to doubt my story and the pace it was moving, so thank you. I hope you enjoy this and please let me know if you don't, I will take it down.**

**Obviously this story is not what the actual reviewer went through, to my knowledge; they are not a rock star. But I tried to take the feelings of what someone in that mind frame would feel, and I know that I can never truly grasp the feelings for I have never been in the situation, but if just one person who's thinking of ending it all reads this and can see that even if the trust doesn't come back, that there is a light that can be at the end of the tunnel and that the pain one feels can empower that person to reach for a new goal or do something to change their life.**


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